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I don't drink

Me, the Prime Minister and a whole lot of champagne!

12/7/2016

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In 2005 I was mislabelled as being Colonel Page instead of Kirkman Page at a Conservative party event and despite being drunk I was consequently treated as a celebrity. The experience ended up as a story in my comedic memoirs ‘The 7.52 to London Bridge’:

‘Make way, make way for the Colonel’, happened all over again and all of a sudden we were in front of Miss May. At this stage some of the champagne and the lunchtime drinks were catching up with me, so I told Miss May in all honesty how far more pretty and feminine she looked in person having only seen her on TV, how she looked the sort of girl I could have gone out with her being the same age as me, how Theresa was one of my favourite names, how she must have some champagne from my new black friend, and I put my protective arm round her and gave her a cuddle whilst introducing her to my more amused than astonished daughter.

I have just posted her a copy of the book. Hopefully she will appreciate the gesture and I won’t instead notice the tell-tale laser point dancing on my chest before my writing career is summarily terminated!

You can find ‘The 7.52 to London Bridge’ at
www.idontdrink.net/read-my-books
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    Julian Kirkman-Page

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