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'I don't drink!' How to quit alcohol - a drinker's tale
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June 1st Tomorrow - is this your big day?

31/5/2016

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For many of you the 1st of June will be the day you quit alcohol. Hopefully you have decided to quit forever because that is SO much easier than trying to moderate your drinking, especially if you do have a drinking problem to the extent it has become an addiction. ‘I Don’t Drink’ contains diary pages to help and encourage you once you have quit, but those of you who haven’t read it or don’t have access to a copy, I thought it might be useful to have a look at the page ‘the night before’ which I have edited in parenthesis for you. Good Luck!
 
This is the eve of the big day. Hopefully you already feel excited because just knowing you are doing something so positive and life changing should naturally make you feel special. You may also feel a little apprehensive, I have to say I didn’t because I knew in my mind I was finally doing something about getting rid of gout forever and so I couldn’t wait to start ticking off the days on my chart. That’s why it is important to have one big negative thing to initially focus on, something specific that has to change.

Don’t put tomorrow off. This really is the start, tomorrow you are going to be one of those people nearly everyone secretly admires and dreams of being, a completely happy non-drinker, and especially happy because you chose that path. It really will be one of the most important changes you can ever make in your life and something you can forever be totally proud of.

The all-important check list
  • Don’t tell anyone. (I suggest waiting at least a few days before telling anyone of your decision to quit)
  • Make sure your calendar chart is ready for tomorrow. (I recommend using a star chart to reward yourself for your progress, to remind you of how well you are doing and to act as a block to you changing your mind. Having to ditch something so visual if you fail is not something you will want to do.)
  • Make sure your spreadsheet is set up and ready to go. (A more sophisticated version of the star chart)
  • Make sure you have decided on your one big negative area of focus and created a talisman if you think it will help. (The use of a talisman is discussed in the book)
  • Make sure you have your list of positive reasons to hand or at least ready to start compiling and adding to. (what is it you are hoping to achieve by quitting alcohol)
  • Have you planned something to do tomorrow to take your mind off drink? What’s up your sleeve just in case?
  • Have you planned an activity? Are you going walking, running, swimming, cycling, using your Wii or its equivalent?
  • Have you cancelled any meetings / get-togethers where drink would be available?
And now…
  • Throw away (preferably smash) that favourite wine glass, pint mug or tankard. If it’s an heirloom lock it away somewhere you can’t get ready access to it.
  • Instead of swallowing it, throw your last ever drink down the sink and watch it disappear. Imagine it being poison which has been slowly but surely destroying your liver, kidneys, brain and other organs, and ruining your life. Hate the rotten stuff as you swill it away.
  • Go to bed early and sober, you don’t want a hangover on your first day.
 
Well done! And good luck!



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The club soda Brighton meet-up

27/5/2016

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We didn't meet at this shop but being in Brighton I just had to photo this unusual shop especially as my youngest daughter is a vegan. I imagine these shoes are fine so long as it doesn't rain or you are being chased by rabbits.
The Club Soda meeting was great fun despite there only being a handful of us and everyone drank lime and soda! At 80p a glass All Bar One were never going to make their fortune from our table but then as David Bond pointed out, the profit margin on a lime and soda is probably more than it is on beer.

It was especially nice to meet Bill who read my book I Don't Drink and has now been sober for well over 400 days. It is always fantastic to hear feedback from people who have read my stuff but to meet a reader in person was really something. We will certainly do another meet in Brighton and hopefully next time some more people will come along. Finally, despite being a sober table, we did at least hold our own noise wise against the hen party that turned up and was in full swing!


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Would I drink alcohol again? And there is a reason for the picture!

23/5/2016

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Somebody asked me this question at a talk I was giving today, they were keen to give up alcohol but finding it hard to face a future where alcohol would never feature. I of course answered no but it made me think.

I used to smoke. From the age of fourteen until I was thirty-five I smoked at least twenty cigarettes a day and I remember thinking then I would never be able to face a life without cigarettes. I gave up twenty-four years ago and I have never ever missed having a cigarette and would never want one. For most of this period my wife smoked, people around me smoked and when I went drinking most of my pals smoked. None of that ever tempted me to smoke again – not even on the odd occasion when I would be at a posh hotel on business and drunk on brandy, and my colleagues would hand round the cigars. Never.

So would I drink alcohol again? The same story as with smoking applies. I go to pubs and wine bars, most of my friends drink – some heavily, and even my wife has the occasional glass of champagne. Am I ever tempted - no. Once you make the mental commitment never to drink again it really is that easy – believe me.

The picture? Having read my recent post about 1970’s television programmes a chap after the talk was chatting to me about 70’s celebrities and he mentioned the foul-mouthed bigoted comedian Bernard Manning who was big at the time – he is on the left of the picture. Many years ago someone once told me I looked like him and I hated that fact. The picture on the right is me in 2008 at the height of my drinking period, I dug it out today. It is taken at a breakfast seminar where I was giving a comedy show. No wonder I don’t want to drink again!

 


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Club Soda meet up in Brighton

17/5/2016

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For anyone interested, I will be hosting a Club Soda meetup at All-bar-one in Brighton at 6.00pm on the 26th of May.
It would be great to meet you there for a laugh, a glass of something interestingly non-alcoholic, and some interesting conversation. 

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May 16th, 2016

16/5/2016

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I believe it’s a well-known fact that alcohol helps to kill off brain cells, or at least that’s what I have always been told.

When I gave up drinking I found I had far more energy, time on my hands and a sense of freedom I hadn’t known for years, but if I also expected my intellectual prowess to improve it was not to be.
This weekend my challenge was to put together an IKEA shelving unit.
The old me would have had a bottle of wine before attempting any such task as this, and then another bottle during the exercise which would have inevitably taken most of an afternoon to complete. This time I had nothing more toxic than a cup of tea to hand and I was consequently brimming with confidence. So much so that against my wife’s better judgement I dispensed with the reading the instructions.
There were only six pieces to the shelf unit, but despite this I somehow managed to cock the thing up completely to the extent I had to take force it apart again which damaged it.
Alas poor brain cells, I knew them well!


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The GOOD LIFE? - maybe the drunk life!

13/5/2016

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My wife and I treated ourselves to the boxed set of ‘The Good Life’ and watched the first two episodes last night – we were quite shocked!
For those who can’t recall the series it went out in the mid-seventies and depicts Tom and Barbara turning their house into a smallholding to live a self-sufficient lifestyle. Next door are their posh and successful neighbours Margo and Jerry.

I was seventeen when I first watched these programmes and it is interesting that I have just been writing a new book and a chapter on habits being driven by associations.
I remember being torn between wanting the lifestyle of Tom when I grew up, or that of rich and successful Jerry. I think Jerry came out on top.

What shocked me last night was just how much alcohol played a part in those programmes and I don't remember being shocked back then, it was all taken for granted I suppose.
 
First of all, we see Tom and Jerry sitting in Jerry’s office at 9.00 a.m. having a cup of tea. The first thing Jerry does is take out a bottle of Gordon’s Gin and top both cups up. Both men act as if this is normal and even the canned audience don’t react.

Then in Jerry’s house, he pours himself and Margo a huge gin each (huge). We don’t know what time it is but Margo does say ‘isn’t it a bit early for gin Jerry?’ to which he pours hers into his glass and drinks it (neat).

Later they are on their posh patio and Jerry is always seen standing next to a hostess trolley brimming with bottles of booze and constantly helping himself to a drink or pouring something for other guests. Drink is also used throughout as a lure. ‘If you come to my house I will open this bottle of old malt’ etc.

Watching this as a teenager and aspiring to the lifestyle of Jerry it is hardly any wonder that I associated success with booze. I don’t remember being shocked at the time! It just shows how my attitude has changed now the blinkers are off.

I also remember at the time wishing I had Jerry’s car – a yellow Volvo estate. Watching it last night it looked more like the Trotter’s three-wheel van than anything I would possibly want now!
Great Fun and well worth watching – especially for the naff seventies hairstyles, outfits and furniture.



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The GREEN Belt

7/5/2016

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When you are a teenager you have dreams of what you want to be, the skills you want to have for yourself, the type of person you want to marry, and anything and everything seems possible.
Then life happens.

Life for me seemed to happen very fast. By the time I was thirty-two, I had emigrated from the UK to live in South Africa; spent a year driving through that dark continent in a Land Rover which included venturing into numerous war zones; returned to the UK; had two failed marriages; become the proud father of two fantastic children; changed career at least four times; lost all my money; and already celebrated at least fifteen years of being a heavy drinker and smoker.
Spending the next twenty-three years selling computers in the City in one guise or another, most of which I convinced myself needed to involve copious amounts of alcohol, it is no wonder I felt burnt out at age fifty-five and philosophical about dying within the following couple of years. It didn’t help that by that age I was a complete physical wreck, my mother and brother had both died from alcohol induced liver failure, and I felt old and decrepit.
Then life happened again. I discovered not drinking.

I realised that despite being older than originally planned, I could be that person I wanted to be when I was a teenager; that it was never too late to develop the skills I wanted to have for myself; that I was already married to the soul mate I had dreamed of all those years before; and that with a push and a shove anything and everything was still possible. 
One of those teenage dreams I had was to be a karate expert, but of course I did nothing about it. Here is me just after my fifty-ninth birthday having just been awarded my green belt.

Life can always happen again – you just need to believe. Discover not drinking.


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Another year younger

3/5/2016

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As my readers will know, I expected to be dead by now. Instead I celebrated a wonderful birthday this weekend and we spent Sunday on a charity walk for the local RNLI - and the Sun shone.
It really amused me to receive this card from a half-uncle-in-law who obviously refuses to take on board the fact I no longer drink (and this is year four!) But then if you look in the card shops for suitable cards for someone in their late (very late) fifties, they either involve golf which is something I don't do, are smutty, joke about all the things you can no longer do in life (or are not supposed to be doing) or are booze orientated.
It my 60th next year, perhaps I should design a more suitable 'I don't Drink' card to send myself. Mind you, it is the thought that counts so I deem myself lucky to have received a card at all. I hope your next birthday is as full of fun, happiness and love as mine was.


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