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'I don't drink!' How to quit alcohol - a drinker's tale
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Pissed?

30/5/2017

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I went to the gents at the building where I work this afternoon and there was a great deal of snoring coming from one of the stalls. The amusing thing is that everyone in the building now knows this fact (and no-one wanted to wake the snorer up), and we also think we know who it is likely to be behind the door. There is one man in particular who is always seen red-faced and smelling of drink no matter what the time of day and we are all sure it is him. How embarrassing for him, especially as I know at least one person took his photo from above the door, no doubt to post on facebook somewhere.
I told my wife of this amusing episode when I got home, only to be reminded of the time she found me in the City one afternoon, sitting on a pile of bricks in a building site, completely lost, completely paralytic, and having completely rubbished my suit from falling over into the cement and sand. Thank goodness that was before the days of social media and camera phones.

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Join me live this Sunday

26/5/2017

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I will be live on Club Soda this Sunday talking about how I have found things since I quit over 1500 days ago and what I have since learnt. Would I ever drink again? Do I still think about booze? Do I regret having ever drank alcohol? What was difficult if anything? And answering your questions so please do join in. 
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Catch me on BBC radio tomorrow

15/5/2017

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I have been invited to talk on the Danny Pike morning show tomorrow about quitting alcohol. The recent talk on the show has been about how people in their late 50's / early 60's (the baby boomers) seem to have a greater issue with alcohol than youngsters of today. Just having turned 60 myself it is quite relevant that they have asked me to talk, although until we are on the air I will have no idea what I will be asked! You can always catch the show on the iplayer but if you want to listen live, I will be on at 9.10ish.
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Only 1.3 million years to go!

12/5/2017

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One of the concerns people have when they consider quitting drinking is what they will do with their time. I remember thinking much the same and worrying that I would either be bored, or would spend all the time wishing I was drinking and getting frustrated, restless and incredibly stressed. As I write this I can even recall the tension I would get in my shoulders at the thought of endless evenings with no booze, no trip to the local pub to look forward to and nothing to numb my racing mind.

If you have similar concerns, fear not for they are completely unfounded.

The latest discovery I have made is that many or even most societies, libraries and museums hold regular evening lectures that are either free to attend or attract a nominal fee. The range of subjects covered is endless but my own main interest is science.

This week my wife and I went to the Royal Astronomical Society evening lecture at their headquarters in Piccadilly, London. The lecture only lasted an hour but it was so fascinating I am still assimilating what I learnt, but for me two things stood out.

Firstly, the professor giving the lecture discussed the fact that one of the highly sensitive spacecraft he is involved with was recently hit by an object. He explained that the force of the impact was the equivalent of being hit with a rugby ball thrown by a top rugby player – that would hurt. Luckily the craft survived the impact but he then explained that the mass or the object was no more than a human eyelash! It just shows how dangerous it is in space where everything is moving so incredibly fast.

Secondly, he showed a recently produced star map which in a time lapse sequence showed the movement of stars against the background sky, only one of the stars didn’t appear to move. He then explained that this particular star is hurtling directly towards us faster than a bullet, hence it doesn’t appear to wobble like other stars in the sky. He also mentioned the rather starling news that in 1.3 million years that star will impact our solar system which could well mean game over for mankind. Now I know that is a very long time off, but it does make you think about the vulnerability of our species, and how important it is that such a fantastically clever and advanced species such as ours manages to survive. After all, we have only been around for a few million years and only a few thousand years with any degree of civilisation. What a shame to waste any of that time getting sloshed, achieving nothing, and learning nothing as a consequence.

There is so much to learn, so much to do, and it is so utterly fantastic to be sober enough to make the most of every moment. Get out and find what is on near you. Who knows what might spark a whole new interest for you.

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The birthday, the boyhood rediscovered and the buffet car.

3/5/2017

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It was my 60th birthday last Sunday and I wanted to do something memorable but inexpensive having just moved home. I had of course thought about having a party but every major birthday party I have ever been to has involved booze, massively so when I was a drinker. Not that I would mind my friends drinking in front of me (I would find it immensely boring once they were all drunk) but I know they would mostly have felt a little awkward getting smashed on my birthday with me staying sober. The alternative would have been for them to stay sober or at least limit their drinking and I felt that might just cause unnecessary awkwardness.  Instead, with both my daughters being out of the country my wife and I decided to do something we haven’t done for years and go camping! Not that we harbour masochistic tendencies but the plan was to ‘glamp’ rather than camp and I had selected a campsite near to the Romney Hythe and Dymchurch Railway on the Kent coast which appeared to fit the bill. Unfortunately, the bell tent we hired was old and leaky, there was no electricity, the air beds we took with us had been previously sabotaged by our cat and so they deflated during the night, we thought we were being clever by having bedding instead of sleeping bags (a huge mistake), and it was cold and it rained heavily. But despite all this we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, drank lots of green tea, and it was certainly memorable.

The main part of my treat was for me to go back to my childhood and spend the day playing on the wonderful railway. For those of you who don’t know, the RHDR is a steam railway with engines about a quarter the size of main line trains (see pictures) and it runs for fifteen miles or so along the south coast of England. Readers of my book The 7.52 to London Bridge will recall the story of much mischief taking place on that railway with my brother in the 1960’s including a thankfully unsuccessful attempt to derail the train! 

Despite its Lilliputian size, one of the carriages has been converted to a buffet car and a much ‘squashed in’ attendant serves up to twelve people a range of drinks from his bar as they enjoy the ride.  As I watched a couple cram themselves in to the bar I recalled having been in that same buffet car some six years ago on a previous visit to the railway.

With the smell of steam and smoke from the engine wafting back to the carriage, the sound of the occasional train whistle, and observing the countryside change as the train makes its way from the relative greenness of small towns to the barren and bleak wastes of Dungeness (all very David Copperfield), the buffet is a wonderful place to sit and unwind – or at least it should be. I remember sitting in that bar desperately wanting a gin and tonic which to me seemed the ideal drink to have to match the experience, but knowing at the same time that one wouldn’t be enough and that with the trip lasting over an hour I would want at least three or four, if not half a bottle. As I was driving that day I daren’t risk having that much to drink so I had a can of cider instead. I remember reluctantly having to make that cider last the whole hour and all the time wishing it had been a G and T or at least a bottle of wine instead. I remember the stress that caused, and I remember thinking how one day I would come back on a day I didn’t have to drive home, so I could get wrecked in that buffet and drink myself stupid on champagne, wine and as much gin as I wanted. And I also remember how disappointed and frustrated I felt that day because I hadn’t been able to drink, whereas I should have been enjoying the experience for what it was, not what it might have been if booze could have been involved. After all, the buffet car is just an add on; the railway, the scenery, the journey and the steam trains are what the RHDR is all about, not just somewhere else to get drunk.

So here I was this time, only a walk away from the station so no need to drive, and plenty of room in the buffet car had I wanted to go and fulfil that old drunken wish. But despite it being my 60th birthday the thought never once crossed my mind. And to be honest, despite the simplicity of the weekend, this really has been the nicest birthday I have ever had. Completely sober, completely content and completely happy.

P.S. Yes, I was made to wear a 'birthday boy' badge all day!



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