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I don't drink

Dreams of drinking.

4/7/2018

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For the first time since I quit alcohol over 5 years ago I dreamt of having a drink last night. Quite what brought the dream on I have no idea but this is the nub of it.

I was due to have a very important meeting with a potential customer but my brother called me to meet him for a drink and said it was urgent. As he died some years ago (from alcohol liver failure) I wanted to see him, so duly went to the appointed pub to meet him thinking I could still make the important meeting later. The pub was empty and I remember the owner being disheartened that I hadn’t been in for many years (I seemed to recall the pub from about thirty years ago), my brother then turned up an ordered two pints of what looked like a cross between cider and lager.  This is where it all got very confusing. I remember being nervous of having that drink because I didn’t want to feel drunk and ill but when I tasted it, it tasted of nothing and so I drank it down and immediately shouted that what was the point of having just one, let’s get drunk! Then I remembered the prospect I was due to meet and realized I was already late for the appointment and that they would be waiting for me. I went outside and realised now couldn’t drive as I had been drinking and so I tried to phone them but deleted all the numbers in my phone by mistake and then phone seemed to melt in my hand. I recall feeling very stressed about all of this and then I woke up.

I don’t normally remember dreams but this one I did for some reason. The overlying feeling was the hopelessness of the situation and the fact I was letting so many people down including myself just because of drink. I also recall feeling angry that my brother insisted on meeting me for a drink knowing I no longer drink, and then confused as to why I wasn’t able to stop at one and was insisting on getting smashed.

It just shows I can never drink again, and reaffirms every reason why I would never want to drink again. Thank God that none of this is a reality.

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    Julian Kirkman-Page

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